1. Buy a big (and I mean really big) boat |

Interesting fact: Billionaires, on average, take up no more physical space than non-billionaires, yet require much larger boats.

But seriously, is there anything more cliché than a rich person owning a yacht? So lean into it. If someone gives you grief, call it irony. Or ignore them. You’re rich, am I right? Get one of those skipper hats, then buy a big yacht. Superyachts also come in handy should you decide to become a supervillain.

I did a little shopping at yachtworld.com and found a lot of yachts for sale, and settled on an adorable little German-made yacht, 331 feet long (football field, plus one end zone, for reference) and only $185 million. It’s brand-new — in fact, you have to order it and wait 42 months. But that will allow you to add your own private touches, the particulars of which we don’t need to hear about, frankly. And as long as you have to wait anyway, why not just order two?

Reality check: There will probably be a tax of some kind depending on where you live, where you buy your boat and how creative your accounting team is. Also, don’t forget you need to hire a crew. These things don’t drive themselves. Towergate Insurance, a maritime insurance company, estimates the annual operating cost for a luxury yacht to be 10% of its initial value. Bet you didn’t imagine budgeting almost $19 million for things like fuel, dockage, vessel insurance, maintenance and repairs, and crew salaries in your yacht fantasy, did you?

Fun billionaire fact: Jeff Bezos decided he wanted the biggest yacht in the world (naturally), and it has been under construction in Rotterdam, Netherlands. The boat is almost ready, but there’s a hitch — it’s too big to pass under the bridges that lead out to the open sea. It’s stuck in the harbor. Twitter loves this story.

Nerdy tip: If you really want a boat, lottery be damned, you can get a personal loan for that.

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